Peaches & Perception
I’ve worn many hats in the span of my life.
There was a time when I embraced the hat of shyness and insecurity, making myself as small as possible to ensure others had room. I was the living embodiment of a whisper, longing to be acknowledged but never quite finding the courage to make my presence known.
As I got older and realized life is too short to remain confined within the boundaries of timidity, I traded in my whisper for a boisterous laugh and my small hat for a neon sign. I stood tall, taking up space and ensuring that everyone in the room perceived my essence. But with this transformation came the loss of friendships.
In embracing my true self, I encountered the very thing I had feared from the start – negative reception.
It admittedly made me question my new persona. Was it truly worth it to be authentic if it meant not being liked by everyone? Did my inability to please everyone indicate a flaw within myself?
This dichotomy between yearning to be perceived and being terrified of being truly seen is like wanting to be both the sun and the moon simultaneously. I crave the light, warmth, and attention that come with being noticed, but the thought of people truly seeing me makes me want to crawl under a rock.
Living in a society that relentlessly dissects and judges women based on their appearance, personality, and societal status, it often feels impossible to embody a persona that is universally pleasing. It brings to mind one of my all-time favorite quotes by Dita Von Teese: "You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches."
And it’s so freakin true! Fortunately for you and for me, it is simply not my job to make others comfortable. I’ve learned that being myself is an incredible litmus test.
If I leave a conversation with someone feeling insecure about any facet of who I am, I take it as an intuitive signal that this person is not for me. Your loss, bestie!
This litmus test not only helps us weed out the haters but also paves the way for deeper and more genuine connections with those who are meant to be in our lives. When I am fully myself, I attract the people who match my freak (queue Nasty by Tinashe, you won’t regret it).
The most healing experiences I have ever had were when I allowed myself to be fully authentic and was loved for it. Whether I'm sharing my mistakes with my best friend or celebrating my successes with my sister, being cherished for who I am, flaws included, is the stuff of magic.
As long as we embrace our authentic selves and surround ourselves with people who genuinely appreciate and love us for who we are, we will be more than okay. Laugh loud or don't, be your juicy peach self or try a different fruit altogether. Just know that, regardless of your fruit preference, you are sexy, beautiful, and gorgeous. And there is someone out there who undoubtedly agrees.
With my whole heart,
Your Maddy
