Pajama Power Hour

Welcome back, my little cutie, sweetie angel baby reader. I’m in the mood for a heart-to-heart.

Let’s get comfortable – we are in our jammies with popcorn or your snack of choice; we are cozy and maybe a lil wine drunk so that we are feeling nice and relaxed.

We are making loving eye contact and holding a safe space for one another (do you see what I mean when I say my friendships are romantic?).

I am here for you, and I can feel that you are here for me. It’s not easy to discuss difficult topics, but luckily my primary coping mechanism is humor, so I’m going to do my best to keep it playful.

I also cope by having a penchant (more like insatiable hunger) for self-improvement. This entails constantly engaging with self-development books, podcasts, and personality assessments, among other things.

I’m a Myers Briggs ENFJ, an Enneagram so/sx 2w3; my Strength’s Finders Top 5 are Empathy, Input, Ideation, Restorative, and Developer, and my primary Love Languages are Quality Time and Physical Touch. I’m also a Scorpio Sun, Pisces Moon, and Aries Rising, but that’s another blog post.

My mantra is, “If you ain't growin', you ain't goin'.” So trust me when I say I know the struggle of feeling like you're never quite "there" yet.

But here's what I also know: healing, the verb, IS the destination; it's a journey. It’s an ongoing decision that you'll have to make again and again. Cut yourself some slack and remember that progress, no matter how small, is still progress.

Think about it this way—it took a very long time for those neural networks to be programmed into your brain. Go easy on yourself and realize it’s going to take time to create new roads.

I am genuinely picturing the inside of my noggin like a busy highway. Healing looks like shutting down old roads and paving new ones. And we all know how long construction takes, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

Disclaimer: I am certainly not claiming to be some sort of guru on the path to healing, but I've definitely racked up enough life experience to feel confident in sharing the tools that helped me break free from the clutches of my past.

The first tool in my toolbox (picture me in a construction outfit. Hot) is speaking your truth. There's something incredibly liberating about opening up and sharing your story with someone who truly listens. Whether you pour your heart out to a trusted friend, seek guidance from a therapist, or even just journal your thoughts (in my case, it was all three), every conversation is a step toward freedom.

And you know what's even better?

Realizing that you're not alone in this journey. Turns out, we're all battling our own demons, and there's strength in solidarity. So, don't be afraid to speak up and lean on those who offer a safe haven for your words.

Next up— radical honesty. This one was a game-changer. Growing up in a toxic environment, secrecy was second nature to me. I was a scared little fly trapped in the spider web of protective white lies. But trauma thrives in the dark. I was stunned to find how much light honesty let it in.

I'm not just talking about being honest with others (though that's important, too); I'm talking about being brutally honest with yourself.

It's about facing those uncomfortable truths head-on, embracing your flaws, owning up to your mistakes, and acknowledging your vulnerabilities. It’s like setting yourself free from a prison of self-doubt. I’m the sexy little spider now, but don’t worry—I’m a vegetarian *insert winky face*.

Another tool that has proven incredibly helpful is learning to identify my triggers. These sneaky little brats have a knack for catching us off guard and sending us spiraling back into old patterns. I have a handful of friends who have seen this in action – God forbid I spill anything in public. I’m going to hyperventilate even thinking about it.

Shoutout to my humans who have loved me through all my triggered moments.

But here's the thing: once you find your triggers, they start to lose their power over you. By recognizing what sets off your internal alarm bells, you gain the power to defuse them before they have a chance to wreak havoc on your peace of mind. Whether it's certain situations, people, or even specific thoughts, knowing your triggers arms you with the tools you need to get out of your way. It's like having a personal roadmap to steer you away from potential pitfalls and towards a brighter, more empowered future.

My final tool can be the most uncomfortable at first – solitude. Our world is constantly buzzing with noise and distractions, and it’s easy to get lost in the sauce. But it’s in those quiet, uninterrupted moments that we can truly reconnect with ourselves, recharge our batteries, and tap into our inner wisdom. (I am actually levitating right now, you just can’t see me.)

Whether it's a leisurely stroll in nature, a cozy evening curled up with a good book, or simply basking in the blissful silence of our own company, alone time offers a sacred space for self-reflection and introspection. It's where we can tune out the chaos of the outside world and tune into the whispers of our own hearts.

Here I am, an astounding 5’ can of whoopass on the other side of trauma, a little bruised and battered but stronger (and cuter) than ever before. And while I may not have all the answers, I choose healing. I will continue to choose healing – and I hope you do, too. Not to sound like your spin instructor, but the only way out is through.

With my whole heart,
Your Maddy