Everybody Is My Bestie
Like a good sandwich (man, I love a sammie), a solid conversation is comprised of several key ingredients – you’ve got active listening (the bread), conversational reciprocity (the protein), respect (the cheese), and empathy (your veggie of choice, might I suggest, Maddy Lettuce?).
But hold the mayo, because today I'm serving up the secret sauce– the mindset shift that makes me a particularly engaging conversationalist.
I’m calling this the "Everybody Is My Bestie" method (I made this up just now). It's the technique that empowers me to confidently venture into new environments solo without vibrating in fear.
The “Everybody Is My Bestie” method, EIMB for short, is exactly what it sounds like – approaching new conversations as if the person you're speaking to has been your best friend for years. Some people picture crowds in their undies when they feel nervous – I imagine myself sharing laughs and stories over a nice cold beveragino with someone I've known for ages.
Think about what you look and sound like when you’re yapping with your best friend. No filters, no pretense, no nerves – you’re relaxed, candid, engaged. You speak your mind with authenticity and genuine curiosity, exploring topics that pique your interest and sharing your own thoughts and experiences openly. Your body language reflects this ease – your shoulders are relaxed, your smile is genuine, and you're fully locked in, nodding along in agreement or leaning in closer to catch every word.
Embodying the EIMB mindset means channeling that same energy and enthusiasm into every conversation, no matter how casual or formal. Whether you're swapping stories with a stranger at a coffee shop or getting deep with a colleague at a work event, you're bringing that same warmth and openness to the table. The EIMB method is a figurative “Welcome” sign in your sandwich shop.
The best part? I get to avoid the small talk chit-chat that genuinely makes me want to scream. I not only put the other person at ease, but I also create a space where genuine connection can flourish. Instead of worrying about saying the right thing or impressing the other person, I focus on being present, listening attentively, and responding authentically. One thing about me is I am always going to be myself– and it makes all the difference.
Adopting an EIMB mindset doesn't mean spilling the beans about your deepest secrets to every stranger you encounter. You do not need to share your wild weekend with your boss (save it for the blog) or to recount your life story to new acquaintances (princess captain overshare)– exercising discretion is crucial. Contextual boundaries do matter.
However, this also doesn't mean erecting (hehe) impenetrable walls in conversations. Rather, it underscores the importance of contextual boundaries and judicious topic selection. The crux lies in the mindset you bring to the conversation – one characterized by warmth, openness, and genuine interest in fostering connections.
Additionally, a firm commitment to the EIMB philosophy also serves as an energetically protective shield. People are surprised to know that I am introverted– I spent many years identifying as an extrovert because those around me told me it was so. But it's because I employ this method in conversation that I'm able to navigate social interactions with ease. By staying true to myself and embracing authenticity in every exchange, I find that I preserve a significant amount of energy.
It's like having a magic cape (of accomplishment. Pulling from my Runescape era) shielding me from the draining effects of small talk and surface-level interactions. While I still require 5-7 business days in solitude to fully recharge my batteries, this philosophy has saved me countless moments of conversational nerves and anxiety.
This approach has proven to be incredibly helpful for me, both personally and professionally. In my career, it's helped me land jobs in six different states and navigate unfamiliar environments with ease. By approaching interviews and networking opportunities as if I'm chatting with a close friend, I'm able to showcase my zesty personality, highlight my skills, and forge meaningful connections with potential employers.
So the next time you've gotta yap, remember you've got the secret sauce that will help you yap with the best of 'em. Whether you're at a networking event, striking up a conversation with a stranger in line at the grocery store, or navigating a work meeting, keep the EIMB method in your pocket to whip out when you’re ready to make a conversational sammie. Rather than picturing people in their undies (which is honestly sorta problematic the more I think about it), imagine yappin’ with me (we are besties, after all) and watch as your conversation flows with ease.
With my whole heart,
Your Maddy
